In Time
by annaliesegrace
Summary: A Word of the Day fic set of one shots. Chapter Eight, Berserk  adj : violently or destructively frenzied; wild; crazed; deranged
1. Chapter 1

Title: In Time

Author: Annaliesegrace

Rating: Eh, K…just in case.

Summary: Word of the day fic. I hope to do two a week until the season premier (six weeks away!), but that might be asking a lot, work has been insane, which is oddly where I do my best writing. Not all will be long, this one is insanely short for me, but it worked. And while I use the dictionary app for the WoD, they won't be posted the day they pop up on the app. I'm not that fast.

Reviews are always appreciated. Feel free to press the lovely button on the way out.

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><p>Chaptalize: (verb) To increase the alcohol in a wine by adding sugar.<p>

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><p>"Do you realize how much of our relationship revolves around alcohol?" she asked while swirling the wine currently in her glass and looking at her partner who was seated next to her at the bar, his own beer in hand.<p>

Briefly he looked at his bottle before swallowing the last of the liquid. "You called it a relationship again."

She gave him an irritated look. "Nevermind."

The tone got his attention and he turned fully toward her, clearly there was something on her mind. "What's up?"

"I just…" she blew out a breath and took another long sip. The nights they spent together at the bar had become a regular occurrence now and they had mutually, and silently, agreed never to mention it in front of the other two team members. Because they both knew the crap they would get if their time off hours got out. Especially the frequency of it. "I don't know. We come here and we drink together and sometimes we talk…but usually it's just…"

Now he leaned into her slightly. "Superficial."

She looked at him surprised but nodded. "Yeah."

"So what? You want to have deep, meaningful conversations? We don't do that, Kens."

"I know. But why don't we? We're friends, right?"

He nodded. "I'd like to think so."

"Me too," she sighed and put her elbow on the wooden bar, resting the side of her head on her hand. She really wasn't sure what her point was anymore. The words Hetty had spoken to her before the manager had disappeared halfway around the world still rattled around in her head on occasion. And for some ridiculous reason mostly when she was alone with Deeks. Tonight with the addition of the wine her melancholy seemed worse. Because sometimes Kensi was sure she was destined to be alone.

"Hey," he whispered, pulling her from her thoughts, and reached out, tentatively resting his hand on her shoulder. "What is going on with you?"

"Hetty…before she pulled her disappearing act we talked and she made me realize that I can't spend my entire life alone. One day my NCIS career will be over and what will I have? A bunch of commendations that I can't even show anyone? A really nice collection of weapons?"

"I know it's hard…"

"You don't seem to have any trouble finding company…" she muttered and as she sat fully up his hand fell from her shoulder.

"Sure, I don't have trouble getting a girl to come home with me. We have a good time and maybe she stays through breakfast. But that's it; usually I don't see them again." He stared at a spot beyond her shoulder. "Except Jess."

She downed the last of her wine. "We are two screwed up people, you know that?"

He considered that before suddenly hopping down off the bar stool and held out a hand to her. "Walk with me?"

She narrowed her eyes at him but took his hand and followed him out the door. As they moved farther away from the bar he took a chance and twined his fingers with hers. Silently they approached a park a few blocks from Wilshire and quickly found a bench to sit on, the late hour ensuring they were alone despite being in the middle of a bustling city. Most people were just getting to the clubs and they could vaguely hear the din of Wilshire behind them.

After several more moments of silence, most of which he spent staring up into the cloudless sky; Deeks finally spoke, turning sideways to face her.

"You are not screwed up, Kensi. Not more than the rest of us, anyway. You know why I don't try harder at relationships?"

"No," she said softly.

"My parents…they didn't exactly give me the best of examples. My Dad used to beat the crap out of my Mom and me. She never fought back; she just…took it. I still blame her for that, for leaving it to her eleven year old son to put an end to it. Needless to say our relationship was strained until I left the house at eighteen. It's hard to know what to do in a real relationship when that's your baseline. "

Kensi was only vaguely aware of the violence of Deeks' childhood, she knew he had shot his father at a young age in self defense, but that was it, she could only speculate the whys. "You never talk about it."

"Why bother?"

She reached out one hand and placed it on his upper arm, squeezing gently. "Why not."

Even in the dark she was able to see his normally bright eyes darken slightly. "I'm not sure you want to hear it."

"I do…"

"Yeah?" his voice was slightly snippy. "And are you going to tell me all about your perfect childhood with your Dad?"

"That was uncalled for, Deeks."

He looked back up at the sky. "I know, I'm sorry."

"My Mom died when I was really young…cancer. My Dad and I, we were inseparable after that, we only had each other. And when he didn't come home one night I knew something was wrong." Her voice cracked at the end and suddenly his warm hand dropped onto her shoulder, fingers caressing the nape of her neck. "They found his body at the side of the road the next morning. The guys he went out with didn't know anything, he left before they did. They tried…but every lead went nowhere. Never caught who did it."

Again his hand reached out and cupped her cheek gently. And for a brief moment she leaned into him, accepting the comfort and warmth. "Kens, I'm sorry."

She took a long, shuddering breath. "I lost my Dad and my best friend that night."

The hand on her neck gently pulled her body into his in a half embrace. "Maybe we are screwed up. But you know what, we can be screwed up together, how does that sound?"

"I'd like that."

"I'd like that, too." He responded and they both smiled at the familiarity of the words.

Deeks wrapped one arm around her, pulling her body closer into him and looked up at the twinkling stars. And for one moment, he didn't feel screwed up at all.

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><p>Well that came out A LOT darker and moodier than I intended and it sorta veered off from the word a little bit there. But it was partially inspired by Shane Brennan stating in an interview that Kensi and Deeks will talk about relationships in the season premier.<p> 


	2. Willowwacks

**Second chapter for this week as promised. This one is much longer, as you can see and I'm MUCH more pleased with this one than the first. And I got in an X-Files reference in this one, can you spot it? **

**THANK YOU for the reviews for the first chapter. As always, they are appreciated.**

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><p>Willowwacks (noun): A wooded, uninhabited area.<p>

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><p>This was not how he pictured spending his evening. Before the call came in from Hetty his entire plan was a beer and maybe a Dodgers game on his recently purchased 55 inch flat screen. He was really looking forward to seeing every blade of grass in high definition.<p>

Instead he was running _through _grass in pursuit of a suspect in the murder of a high ranking official at Pendleton. Actually, he was running through a frickin forest – the Angeles National one to be specific - his partner leading the way.

With the sun going down, this chase was going to have to end one way or another. No way were they chasing this guy deeper into the woods in the dark. Well, he wasn't, his partner probably had flashlights in the backpack she was carrying and night vision goggles or some other such nonsense.

Deeks frequently wondered how they could have so much in common and yet so little.

She slowed in front of him and Deeks did the same, coming to a stop next to her.

"So, Lassie, where did Groner go?"

She responded without looking up from her investigation of the area. "Call me that again and no one will find the body."

"So which way?" he asked in seriousness.

"Left," she commented and started heading that way.

Quickly he reached out and grabbed her upper arm. "Wait. It's almost dark; we really want to follow this guy? We could get lost or worse."

She seemed to consider his words a moment and looked at the waning sun and then back where they came. "We have another hour or so before the sun sets fully, and we've been running about ten minutes. Let's give it another fifteen and if we can't find him we will come back tomorrow with dogs. And we won't get lost."

"Famous last words," he muttered. "But fine, fifteen minutes."

Without speaking, she turned left and switched from a full out run to a light jog, keeping her eye out for signs of where Groner had gone. After another 10 minutes a flash of blue jacket in the distance caught her attention.

"Got him!" she hissed back to her partner and took off in a full on run, Deeks close behind.

As they got to the point where they should have caught up with the suspect, Kensi came to an abrupt stop and let out a sound that resembled a strangled cry. Deeks, unable to fully stop, crashed into her back, his fingers digging into her hips to keep them both from tumbling to the forest floor.

"Fuck," she muttered and leaned back into him as best she could with the backpack on.

"Kensi?" he asked, concerned at what had her coming to a crashing stop.

"I think I twisted my ankle."

His grip on her hips tightened and he peered around her to find most of her left foot in a small hole dug by some kind of animal.

"OK, can you pull it out?"

"Yeah," she said and slowly removed her foot – which he now realized was at an odd angle - from the hole, wincing as she placed it on the ground.

Without thinking, he slipped next to her and wrapped one of her arms around his shoulders, half carrying her to a tree trunk that had fallen to the ground. As he set her down she let out an annoyed breath.

"He got away."

Deeks looked up at her as he tried to inspect her foot. "I'm more worried about you."

Something resembling affection crossed her face but she remained silent.

As he reached up to remove her running shoe, she reached out and stopped him. "NO! If you take off my shoe and it swells I'll never be able to get it back on."

He seemed to consider that. "Ok, how bad does it hurt?"

"It's fi-"

"And if you tell me fine I'll make sure you spend a night in the hospital."

"You wouldn't."

He looked at her steadily. "Wanna bet?"

She sighed. "I think it's broken."

"What?"

"I think it's broken, Deeks. Do I need to spell it out for you?"

"You said it was twisted!"

"That was before I pulled it out of that damn chipmunk hole. I don't think it's bad, but it's fractured at least."

Thinking, Deeks looked around; the sun was almost down now. There was no way he could find his way back to the car himself (and he sure as hell wasn't leaving her here alone) in the dark, she wasn't walking they were at about five miles into the woods and they already knew their cells didn't get reception in this part of the park.

_Crap, crap, crap, crap, _he thought to himself. They were stuck there for the night at least.

"We have to stay put," she said and moved her foot somewhat, which caused shooting pain to rocket up her leg. Definitely fractured.

"Yeah, I figured that out myself."

She looked around. "This is a good a place as any, there's a small clearing behind us we can start a fire in. Probably should get some wood before we can't see. There's a flashlight in the bag and matches."

Stepping around her, he picked up the green bag she had dropped and pulled it open, fishing out a flashlight, he would take it just in case. "Of course there is. We really need a fire? It's only getting into the sixties tonight."

"That depends. Do you want raccoons chewing on your toes tonight, or not? And sixty is pretty damn cold when you aren't moving around and it's dark."

He gave her a look and turned around. "Firewood it is."

It took Deeks fifteen minutes to gather enough firewood to get them through until the sun would come up around 5 am. While he did that, she cleared a space to put the small bundle of wood. Though every time she moved her left leg, intense pain would come from the ankle.

As he came back, Kensi leaned back against the log she had previously been sitting on and blew out a long breath, trying to get the pain under control.

"You have any Tylenol or Motrin in that bag?"

"No," she hissed through clenched teeth as she pulled herself into a comfortable position.

"How about a wrap for the ankle?"

"No again. And I think its fine in the shoe for now."

Quickly he came over and crouched in front of her. "Kensi, what do we do in the morning? I'm still not thrilled with the idea of leaving you to find my way back. Well, that and I'm not confident I could find my way back. Wilderness isn't exactly my thing, you know. I've got you for that."

"You ahh…" she breathed through another jolt of pain. And she hadn't even moved that time. "You won't have to. First rule of survival if you know someone will be looking for you, and once we don't check in NCIS will be, is you don't move. As soon as you start walking around you reduce your chances."

"GPS isn't exactly working."

Now she gave him an irritated look. "Hetty knew we were coming out here. Eric will GPS my car, find it in the lot and they will find us from there. No worries."

He looked around at their surroundings, which were now in almost complete darkness. "Yeah, no worries. Except bears and coyotes and our buddy Groner."

"You better start the fire." As he did she continued. "If Groner is smart he got the hell out of here. Circling back for us would be foolish."

"Criminals aren't known for their intelligence. Otherwise they wouldn't be criminals."

She laughed a little bit at that and watched as he got a nice fire going. It would be enough to keep the animals away and take the chill out of the air.

"You've got your gun, right?" At his nod of affirmation she continued. "Me too, so we are good there. Nice fire for a city boy, Deeks."

He poked at it slightly with a stick and sat down next to her. "I think you are rubbing off on me."

"You can only hope."

Picking up the flashlight, Deeks leaned over her and inspected her ankle as best he could without moving her sock or shoe.

"Kens, it's getting pretty swollen."

"I'm sure…" she said and leaned her head back, closing her eyes and trying to block the pain.

Carefully Deeks settled in as close as he could to her, and her lack of protest was a testament to how much pain she was in. "So, when did you first break a bone?"

"Mmmmm…I think I was eight, maybe nine. I fell out of this tree in the neighbor's yard. Must have fell 10 feet, right onto my left arm. Broke it clean, had a cast for nearly three months."

"How many bones have you broken?"

She gave him a sideways look. "Mine or others?"

"Let's stick with yours."

"Five."

"Count ribs."

"Oh, ummm…twelve then."

He turned from watching the fire and looked at her incredulous. "You have broken _seven _ribs?"

"Three in one shot, two twice more. It's been a couple years since I broke any."

"That's…impressive. And slightly disturbing."

She shrugged and rummaged through the bag, pulling out two bottles of water and a few energy bars.

"You got anything else in that bag? Big screen TV? Some marshmallows for the fire?"

Handing him water and one bar she laughed mirthlessly. "Sorry, fresh out."

"Damn, no smores I guess."

Pointing at the bar she he was unwrapping she commented, "Make that count, I've got two more for breakfast and that's it."

They lapsed into comfortable silence for a while until he noticed a grimace cross her face. "How's the ankle?"

"Hurts like hell," she admitted.

Considering his options, he scooted over a little, stretched his legs out, and gently guided her head down to lie on one of his thighs. Slowly he began needing the muscles of her neck and shoulders, at one point pulling out her ponytail holder and massaging her scalp. At some point she twisted slightly, allowing him better access. It was more physical contact than she usually allowed him, but the distraction was working; it wasn't long before the pain that had been sharp and shooting dulled to a manageable throbbing. That and she actually was enjoying the feel of his fingers on her body on an intimate level.

"Where did you learn that?" she asked as his fingers worked down her spine.

"Is it working?"

"Yeah, it's…better."

"Had a girlfriend once that was into holistic medicine. This technique was the only thing I remembered. Well, that and what it usually led to."

"Pervert," she laughed.

A few more minutes of silence went by before Deeks hit a sensitive spot and she let out a low moan. He almost stopped, because the noise resembled what he would imagine her sounding like in bed. Hey, he would admit it; the idea of them together had crossed his mind on more than one occasion. Sometimes rather graphically.

"You're awfully quiet," she said suddenly, snapping him out of the daydream.

"Just thinking."

"Bout what?" Her voice had taken on a soft, sleepy sound which sent a shiver through his body and again had his brain conjuring up all sorts of scenarios (that didn't include the woods) where he would hear that sound again.

As he was about to answer she shifted suddenly and let out a low hiss of pain. He pulled his hands back until she had settled back down onto his leg and tenderly pulled several strands of hair back from her face. She twisted her torso to face him more fully and for a long moment they stared at each other, unsure what to make of whatever was happening between them.

Because something was happening, as subtle as it was, the tension between them was slowly shifting to something...deeper.

With his fingers still working through her hair, he broke the eye contact, staring at the fire that was starting to lose some steam, he would have to place wood on it soon. "How it is we always go looking for the bad guys in the crappy terrain. Last time it was the desert. Isn't it Callen and Sam's turn?"

Her eyes fluttered closed as his fingers worked to the base of her neck. "Mmmmm…the joys of being a junior agent and a liaison. They get to pull seniority."

"Unfair."

"Totally," she muttered, eyes still closed. Tiredness suddenly overcame her and Kensi let out a long yawn, opening her eyes as she finished. "Sorry."

Deeks looked at his watch. "Eleven pm. I'm going to put more wood on the fire and then you should try and sleep."

"You need to sleep too, Deeks."

"No, I'm good." He gave her that broad, goofy grin. "Going to try and keep the raccoons from eating your toes."

"I don't need you to protect me," she said softly.

"Yeah, but I want to; humor me. Besides I don't think I can sleep anyway with the thought of wild animals getting that close while I'm sleeping. Creepy." He pulled his fingers from her hair. "Getting up."

She shifted, sat up against the log again and a surge of pain ran through her leg. And she marveled at his ability to make her forget, even for a while, the broken ankle. The loss of his warmth and fingers left her with an odd sense of longing. Somehow, in this moment, he made everything better and she found herself staring at him as he collected more wood and placed it carefully on the fire in an attempt to make it last. Though she knew perfectly well he would have to get up in the middle of the night and add more.

As he returned to his original spot, instead of lying back on his legs, she placed her head gently on his shoulder.

She felt a kiss being dropped on the top of her head then, "Night, Kensi."

"Night, Deeks."

The first thing he was aware of was being chilly, the second was that he actually had fallen asleep. Snapping awake, Deeks carefully checked his watch, 2 am, then looked at the fire, which was nearly out. Now at least he knew why he felt cold.

Glancing at his partner, who was slumped against his side sound asleep, Deeks contemplated letting the fire go but knew if the cold had woken him, it would surely wake her eventually.

So carefully he pulled himself out from under her and laid her back down on the ground on her side.

"Deeks?" she muttered quietly.

"Shhhh, go back to sleep. I have to put on more wood."

"Mmmm k."

Quickly Deeks got the fire going once more and returned; ready to sit next to her again even if it meant waking up with numb legs from sleeping in a sitting position. But as he started to settle in near her head, she shifted and looked up at him.

"I'm cold," she said and indicated the space between her and the log. "Lie down, please?"

"You know, the best way to keep warm is to share a sleeping bag naked with another person who's naked."

"Really? Well maybe if it rains sleeping bags you'll get lucky."

He laughed lightly at that and settled in behind her – using the backpack as a pillow for himself and offering up his arm as one for her - pulling her back into his chest, surprised at how cold her body was.

"How's the pain?"

"Throbbing. So I guess that's better."

He placed one hand on her upper arm and slowly rubbed up and down in a lame attempt to help warm her. She moved her body closer to his, pressing herself into him as much as possible to ward off the cold for them both, already the front of her body was warming from the fire.

And despite being warm and feeling safe and comfortable, she still couldn't fall back to sleep. A little of that was because despite the circumstances they were in, she was actually enjoying spending the time with Deeks.

"Tell me a story?"

"What kind of story?"

A question she'd had ever since learning of his difficult childhood suddenly came to mind. "Did you have any good times with your Dad?"

He stiffened slightly; Deeks knew the question came from a good place but it still took him by surprise. Kensi couldn't, based on her relationship with her father, comprehend how a parent could abuse their child as Deeks had been.

"I'm…I'm sorry, forget I asked."

The hand that had been moving up and down her arm landed on her hip, where his fingers absently made slow circles.

"No, it's ok. Yeah, I did, quite a few."

"Tell me…"

"Well, he took me to my first Dodgers game when I was six…"

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><p>"Isn't this adorable?"<p>

The sound of a voice that was decidedly NOT his partner's and certainly male had Deeks waking instantly, his eyes scanning the area on the other side of the fire, his hand reaching for the gun he had tucked behind him.

When the smiling faces of Callen and Sam greeted him, he let out an annoyed noise. And then he realized that at some point Kensi had rolled over in her sleep and was curled tightly into his chest, her arms crossed between them. And that he, in turn had his arm wrapped protectively around her.

"Think we should take a picture, G?" Sam asked with a knowing smirk.

"Only if you have a death wish," Kensi's voice mumbled from the vicinity of Deeks chest and she pulled away slowly, wincing as her broken and now stiff ankle protested and she felt stabbing pain start again. This time the pain was worse than anything she had felt. "It was fucking cold last night and my ankle is broken."

"What?" Callen asked and instantly rushed to her side, looking at the ankle carefully. The bruising was now a deep purple, almost black and the ankle was swelled to twice its normal size.

"Shit." The team lead said and looked to Deeks who was pulling himself to sitting, but had his eyes trained on his partner. "Well now we know why you guys didn't show last night."

"Yep," she gritted out and sat up, leaning partially on Deeks.

"How far in are we?" Callen asked Sam, but both he and Kensi answered.

"About four miles."

The SEAL and junior agent shared a smile.

"Can you carry her? It'll take all morning to get rescue team in here and that's gone untreated long enough."

"Yeah, probably." Sam responded with a nod.

"Great, let's go."

"Um, guys…" Kensi started slowly. "Can you give Deeks and me a couple minutes?"

Callen eyed her but nodded and he and Sam stepped back to the small trail they had used to get to the pair.

As they moved out of sight, Kensi turned to her partner and smiled. "Thank you, Deeks."

"Anytime, partner."

She stared at him a moment. "No, Deeks…" she started but couldn't seem to find the words to express what she was feeling, so instead she leaned over and gave him a long kiss on the cheek. As she pulled away she covered the spot she had kissed with her palm and met his blue eyes. _"Thank you."_

"You're welcome," he said back and placed his forehead gently on hers.

For a moment they stayed that way, each soaking in the warm feeling that being around each other caused.

"I'm ready to get out of here, how about you?"

"Oh, yeah."


	3. Burke

I'm sensing a pattern with these, one short and one long one a week. That's assuming I get another good word here. And I didn't mention it and I'm sure you figured it out, but these are not connected. Random one-shots.

And thank you for the reviews last chapter, I had a TON and LOVED it. They really do inspire me to write more.

Burke (verb): 1) to suppress or get rid of by some indirect maneuver; 2) to murder, as by suffocation so as to leave no or few marks of violence.

_Unbelievable, _she thought as she walked out of the door. You'd really think they would have moved onto something else by now, but no, Sam and Callen were not-so-discreetly hanging out around the women's locker room. They were pretending to talk about their recent op, but the amused (and slightly predatory) look on Callen's face gave them away. Well, that and the fact they were hanging around outside the women's locker room.

She quickly walked past them and hoped they would let it go, but no. In unison the partners moved to follow her. Kensi got halfway down the hall before whirling on the pair, stopping them in their tracks. The men shared looks of feigned innocence. Which just served to irritate her further.

_Jackass._

And she wasn't even sure which of the three (yes, three) men she was most pissed at. Though a sudden rage at Deeks flowed through her and for a brief second Kensi wondered if she could murder him and get away with it (probably, but she really wouldn't try – she'd just fantasize about it). Because it was his fault the senior agents were following her with those matching stupid grins on their faces.

"What?" she finally hissed at them.

"Nothing…nothing at all, right Sam?" Callen said and looked at the former SEAL.

"Nope, nothing."

"Cut the crap."

For a brief moment Sam's face broke into a grin before he suppressed it. "We were just wondering what _exactly_ you and Deeks were doing in the gym there."

"Sparring," she replied shortly.

Callen looked at his partner. "That didn't look like sparring to me, did it to you, Sam?"

"No definitely not sparring. Really, it looked more like making out."

"We weren't…" she started loudly before composing herself by closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, then started again in a lower tone. "We weren't making out."

"Then what, exactly, would you call that?" Callen asked, his face set in a looked that said he already knew the answer and just wanted her to admit it. What she wouldn't give to smack that look right off him. "Because it looked to me like Deeks had his hands…"

Quickly she cut him off; she knew precisely where Deeks' hands had been. "Training."

Callen's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What kind of training? Cause I don't remember that in my course book."

Now she panicked slightly, she had managed to talk herself into a corner. And for once she wished Deeks was there, he would come up with some ridiculous (and yet wholly believable) reason they were making out. Because they had been, she could still feel his lips roving over her neck, sucking and kissing the heated and sweaty skin. Kensi could still feel his body pressing hers against the wall, feel every muscle under her fingers as they explored…

Quickly she stopped her line of thinking because she could feel the flush starting to creep up her body and if they got a whiff of that no explanation in this world would keep her from more questioning. Not that she was doing such a great job explaining as it was.

"Ok, so it wasn't exactly…training. We were practicing." Even as she said the words she cringed inside because they sounded lame even to her ears. "For the next time we needed to pose as a couple. Remember what happened the last time? The guy didn't buy it and we almost blew the entire op because of it."

"Uh huh…" Sam drew out.

"So we were working on our…chemistry." Oh yeah, it was a terrible lie, especially since lying was her job, but she was out of options and just wanted them to drop it.

"Chemistry."

"Chemistry," she repeated, sensing that even if they didn't believe her, they were going to drop it and put her out of her misery.

"Whatever you say, Kens," Callen said as he stepped past her, moving toward the bullpen.

As Sam walked by, he leaned into her a little and spoke quietly. "You get an A."

She didn't say anything, just followed them back into the bullpen and dropped her bag by her desk, sitting quietly. They didn't have anything pressing so she pulled up the internet and started surfing news sites. Though she wasn't really reading anything, she was still feeling like an ass for getting caught by Sam and Callen, of all people.

Finally Deeks appeared in the bullpen from ops, where he had been summoned earlier and the reason why Sam and Callen had even been in the gym at the exact second they had been to catch them in the act.

Kensi didn't look up as he sat down; instead she pretended to read the webpage about…something. She had already forgotten what she was reading. _Damn him._

But she could sense Deeks' discomfort from across the room and she looked up long enough to note the somewhat pretend fuming expressions on Callen and Sam's faces. And the slightly terrified one on Deeks'; she knew they were purposely screwing with him, but clearly Deeks wasn't sure.

"Let it go, guys," she finally said and the two men sent Deeks final, feral smiles before returning to their computers.

The rest of the day was spent in strained silence, Kensi and Deeks never having an opportunity to stop and talk to each other about what had happened in the gym between them. One minute they _were_ actually sparring, the next he had shoved her up against the wall, his hands under her tank top, lips pressed to hers, his tongue pushing its way into her mouth.

So now she stood in the hallway of his apartment, knocking insistently at his door. It wasn't long before he answered in a pair of loose, ripped jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Without speaking, he opened the door fully and allowed her in.

"Deeks-" she started but was cut off by his lips on hers again, his hands digging into her hips.

For a moment she gave in and relaxed into him, her fingers gripping his biceps.

"Deeks," she tried again between sloppy kisses.

"Yeah," he mumbled into her neck.

"We can't…" she started before his hand sliding between her legs stopped her and she let out a moan.

"We can't…what?" he asked and pulled her earlobe in between his teeth, nibbling gently.

"Not at work," she managed to get out as his lips found their way to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, where he left a trail of hot, wet kisses across her skin. Frustrated at what her shirt covered, Deeks quickly moved his hands to her waist and pulled the thin material up and over her head, mussing her loose hair in the process. He tossed the sweater unceremoniously to the ground and returned to her skin, kissing just above her bra.

"It's so hard to resist though," he mumbled as he returned to her lips for a bruising kiss.

"Well, resist, because if you don't they will be onto us, and then…" her protest was cut off by another open mouth kiss and he plunged his tongue into her mouth.

She pulled away long enough to tug the shirt over his head. "I hate you."

"No, you don't." He stated rather smugly and led her down the hall to his bedroom.

END

This one sorta amused me. Normally I don't write a lot of Sam and Callen, and in this case they are having a lighter moment, so I hope I captured them well enough. Feel free to review on the way out.


	4. Jointure

AN: Well this one is similar to the first chapter, but…deeper and somewhat less dark. And from a slightly different perspective. Hope you enjoy, and please leave a review on the way out.

Thank you to those that took the time to review on the last chapter…thank you.

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><p>Jointure (noun): Property given to a woman upon marriage, to be owned by her after her husband's death.<p>

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><p>It was bizarre, as if Invasion of the Body Snatchers was happening right in front of her. Her normally loud, cheerful, full of life partner was quiet, morose and downright a bummer. Had been all day. Not one joke, no ribbing at Sam (because Deeks knew it got under his skin from the liaison more than anyone else), no smartass comments. The man had barely spoken all day and quite honestly, it was starting to freak her out. Kensi never thought she would see the day that she actually wished he would talk more but at that moment she would give anything for a stupid crack. And the grin that she pretended she hated, but really made her melt a little bit, had been completely absent.<p>

Even Sam and Callen were concerned, sending her loaded looks throughout the day as if she would have an explanation for her partner's odd behavior.

Kensi searched her memory and could come up with nothing in the last case that would account for this Bizarro version of Deeks. So the answer had to lie in something more personal. While she and Deeks generally didn't share personal stories all that much, Kensi would like to think if something was going on that would affect his work he would talk to her. Though maybe not, she didn't exactly encourage discussions about personal things, mostly because starting that meant sharing some of herself and she wasn't willing to go there just yet. Respect the pace, she had said once and meant it. Yes, she trusted him with her life, he had come to her rescue more than once, but opening up to him? No, she wasn't there yet.

Regarding him across the otherwise empty bull pen, she was about to open her mouth with the diminutive head of the department appeared to her right and dismissed them early.

"You have the weekend off, please use it wisely."

Deeks had merely nodded and started packing up his stuff, she thanked Hetty and watched him another moment before standing and walking over to his desk, pausing in front of it.

"You ok, partner?" she asked quietly.

He regarded her with this odd expression of emotional exhaustion and confusion. "Yeah, peachy."

"Deeks-"

"See you Monday, Kens," he said sharply and picked up his belongings, heading out the door.

For a long moment Kensi just stood there, staring at the space he had been, more confused than ever. Wasn't he always the one pushing her to talk? And now he was just pushing her away, keeping her at arm's length.

This brought up another possibility that had Kensi's stomach turning with anxiety. Was his liaison position in danger? Had he been called back to LAPD? As a liaison and not a full time agent, LAPD could pull him back at any time and replace him with another detective, or terminate the arrangement completely. While she was certain Hetty would do everything in her power to keep Deeks, they were still separate entities and LAPD signed his checks, no matter the fact he spent 90% of his time with them.

_They couldn't take him back._ _She needed him here._

It was the first thought that flew through her mind and she almost recoiled with the intensity of it. The thought of him leaving actually made her heart constrict just a little bit. A feeling that surprised her, since she wasn't sure exactly when she became so…attached to him.

Gathering her things, she followed the same path out the door he had earlier.

After a few stops, she arrived at his apartment complex and after confirming his car was there, picked up the items on her passenger seat and walked up to his third floor apartment. For a brief second she wondered if maybe this was a mistake, but quickly pushed that aside and knocked on the door.

It took several minutes, but finally he appeared at the door in well-worn jeans and a t-shirt that hugged him in all the right places.

"Kensi," he breathed out, clearly unsurprised by her appearance.

She smiled at him and held up her hands. "I brought beer and Bourne. Up for a marathon?"

That actually earned her a smile; clearly he remembered calling her that over a year ago. "Sure, come in."

She stepped through the doorway and followed him into the kitchen, where she pulled two beers from the six pack and placed the rest in the fridge. After opening both, she handed him one and leaned against the counter, giving him an opportunity to talk if he wanted it.

He didn't take it, instead picking up the DVDs and moving into the living room. Now she was downright worried, but at this point she didn't want to push it, so she followed him and settled into a corner of the couch as he put the first of the trilogy into his Blu Ray player.

He settled in the opposite corner of her and took a long drink of the beer.

"Thanks for the beer and movie," he said suddenly and she turned toward him.

"Welcome."

At some point during the movie she pulled her feet onto the couch under her and eventually her legs stretched out, just touching his thighs. Without even glancing at her, he gently placed one hand on her denim-clad calf, warm fingers absently tapping against her. Which told her while he seemed to be paying attention to the movie, his mind was elsewhere.

As the first movie ended they paused to get up, use the restroom and get another round of beers before putting in _The Bourne Supremacy_.

Returning to the couch, he sat first, placing his feet up on the coffee table and looked up at her, need written all over his face. He might have pushed away her attempts at talking, but there was some part of him that needed physical comfort. She couldn't quite grasp the why, but because he was her partner -and yes, he meant something to her - she laid across the couch on her side and placed her feet firmly on his thigh. As she settled in using a small pillow to cradle her head, he moved her feet into his lap.

So she scooted down until her behind nearly touched his hip and one of his hands landed on her knee.

They shared a brief look to confirm the current arrangement was acceptable to both before returning to the movie.

It wasn't halfway through the movie that his hand started twitching against her. Then the twitching turned into sliding slowly up and down between her ankle and knee. Finally he absently starts massaging her feet, his thumbs pressing firmly into the bottoms. It felt heavenly and for a brief – and wholly inappropriate – moment she wondered what his hands would feel like on other parts of her body. But clearly the mindless action was helping because she noticed his face had softened some.

As the credits rolled he released her feet, leaving them in his lap as he finished the last of his beer. From her position on the couch she regarded his profile, with the distractions gone tension was settling back on his face.

Adjusting her head so she could see him more clearly in the TV illuminated room, she spoke softly. "You ok?"

"Go for a walk?" he asked and she pulled her feet back as he started to stand. Sitting up on the couch she gave him a strange look.

"It's almost midnight."

He shrugged and placed the empty bottles on his kitchen counter. "And? It's a full moon, the beach is two blocks away and I'm sure the boogey man is in bed by now."

She smiled gently at the attempt at a joke, got up and pulled back on her running shoes in assent.

Quickly he pulled on some shoes and led her out of the apartment, locking the door behind them. Quietly he walked across the street; she could smell the salt in the air as they got closer to the ocean.

As they made it to the boardwalk, Deeks paused a moment, smelling the air and closing his eyes and suddenly Kensi was desperate to know what was going on in his head. Because this Deeks? This Deeks scared her a little.

"Deeks?"

Still silent he took a couple more steps before sliding through a gap in the small fence between them and the ocean and headed out onto a small outcropping of rocks, finding a flat spot to sit. She followed him, sitting close and pulling her knees to her chest.

"You're scaring me," she finally admitted. "You've been quiet all day and it's freaking me out."

Suddenly he lifted his hips and put a hand into his front pocket, clearly fishing for something. After a moment he pulled the hand back out and opened it, showing her two gold rings. One clearly an engagement ring, it was modest, but lovely, one small diamond flanked by two sapphires. The other ring was a man's wedding ring, plain gold band. Now she was thoroughly puzzled.

"I don't understand…"

"They were my parents."

"Oh," she said slowly. "How did you-"

"They came in the mail yesterday from my mother."

"Your mother?" She was confused, for some reason Kensi had assumed Deeks' mother was dead.

"She, ah…" He took a breath and ran the hand not holding the rings through his hair. "She lives in a nursing home in Arizona. Her mind hasn't been right in a while."

She placed a hand on his upper back. "I'm sorry."

Shrugging he continued, "We really didn't talk much before that. For a long time I couldn't forgive her for allowing him to…do what he did. Now that I'm older, I think I get it. She had nothing, no job, no means of support and he didn't start in with me for a while. So she took the abuse because it was better than living on the street or in a shelter. At least she thought it was better for me."

"Why would she send them to you?"

Now he laughed mirthlessly. "Well she sent a note with them. The short version is she thought I should have them because I should be getting married soon and wanted me to have them for my wife and I."

Kensi didn't have anything to say to that, what could she say?

"I don't know why she thought I would ever want anything that bastard gave her." Anger radiated through his voice and his back went rigid under her hand. "And I really don't know why she kept them."

"Maybe…they were happy once, right?" She asked.

"Apparently they were completely in love when they met and got married and had me. The perfect family." Deeks paused and looked up at the cloudless sky; the moon seemed especially bright that night. "He always had a short temper and was quick with a smack if I was being…difficult, but Mom usually kept him under control. And I remember good times, I do. Until he lost his job…"

"You don't have to…" She started and slid her hand slowly up and down his back. Really she wanted to hold him, wrap her arms around him and make it all go away.

"I need to." His hand reached out and grasped hers, holding it like a lifeline. "After he lost his job, the drinking started, I think he felt like less of a man, unable to provide for his family. It started as just berating her, emotionally knocking her down, and by the time he started beating her she couldn't leave. The first time I tried to intervene he knocked my tooth out. The second time he turned on me, I couldn't go to school for a week. Didn't stop me from being a smartass though."

"That's the Deeks I know," she said and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening. She knew Deeks' childhood had been rough, she just didn't realize how bad it had been.

"Yeah, well, it didn't really help then. Mostly it just pissed him off. And I'm sure you can figure out how that ended."

"Maybe she thinks these will remind you of the happy times." She offered.

"All it reminds me of is him." Deeks voice was quiet, strained and she could see that he was holding back from crying in front of her. And Kensi suddenly wanted to meet the man that had done this to her partner, if only so she could beat the crap out of him as he had done. The visual of what his father had done to a young Deeks made Kensi's stomach roll.

Without thinking, she reached one hand up and cupped his cheek gently. He leaned into her touch and when his eyes closed she leaned over and placed a chaste, comforting kiss to his other cheek. Right now that was all she could do, show him she was there for him. It's what partners did. It's what friends did. And Kensi would like to think that under all the insanity, they were at least friends at the core.

As she pulled away he continued. "Besides, if I ever do get married, I'm certainly not using her ring. It would…taint it."

"If?"

"Well considering what I grew up with, marriage isn't exactly appealing."

One hand landed on his thigh. "I get that."

For a while they watched the waves crash onto the shore, each lost in their own thoughts until Deeks spoke again, this time his voice a little stronger.

"You ever think about it?"

"Bout what?"

"Marriage, family, the whole thing."

She shrugged and continued to look out onto the water. "Hetty mentioned it to me once…that I don't want to end my career and find myself alone. But I don't think that means marriage, not sure I ever want to do that. I just want…someone. Who gets it."

"Yeah…" His tone was…wistful. "Someone you don't have to lie to everyday about what you did at work."

"Exactly," she replied and looked at his profile, smiling. They were more alike than she realized and a thought occurred to her. "You know, you'd be a good Dad."

He laughed lightly. "I don't know about that."

"I do." Her tone was final. "Maybe it's because you are a kid at heart, but I think you'd be good at it. Great, actually."

"Yeah, cause I had such a great role model."

"That's just it. Like Ray said, it's a chance to do it the right way. You know how _not_ to do it."

"You offering to carry my hypothetical future child?"

She smiled broadly; there was the Deeks she knew. "Um, no. I really don't have the patience for that. They are messy-"

"Really?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. They were both well aware of the perpetual state of her apartment.

"Shut up, Deeks. I just don't know if I could do it."

"Maybe if you found the right guy…"

"The same hypothetical guy that understands my job and can deal with my…quirks?"

"Oh, I'm sure he's out there somewhere." He leaned over and whispered in her ear. "And those, Kensi, are more than quirks. Your sugar problem is a chore in and of itself."

They stared at each other a moment, both realizing the undercurrent of the conversation and the fact that the person sitting next to them was as close as they were going to get to "someone". Suddenly Deeks' hand was cupping the back of her head and she was leaning into him, her lips a hair's breadth from his. She could feel the electricity sparking between them, the desire to kiss him was overwhelming but she held back.

"Deeks, I don't…" she started but was cut off when he crossed the small space between them and pressed his lips to hers.

The kiss was short, sweet and a promise of something in the future. And they were both ok with that.

Pulling back, she tapped the hand that still held the rings. "So, whatcha going to do with those?"

He looked down at his hand before quickly tossing the items into the ocean below them.

"Deeks!" she exclaimed.

"There's bad karma on those rings, its better this way."

"If you say so."

He took her hand and stood, tugging her back up to standing and leading her carefully back to the pier. They walked hand in hand slowly back to his apartment, enjoying the pace.


	5. Incredulous

Hello readers. I'm going to make this brief. The fam and I are heading out on vacation for a week, so this will be the last update until Labor Day. And I just barely got this one in! The words stunk this week, so I come up with a scene and picked a word on my own. Enjoy…reviews are appreciated as always and welcome!

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><p>Incredulous (adjective): not credulous; disinclined or indisposed to believe; skeptical.<p>

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><p>"You can't be serious." He stated with an annoyed tone.<p>

Kensi smiled back at her partner as they walked back into the mission and feigned a confused look – she knew perfectly well what was talking about. "What?"

"What? What?" Now his volume increased and of its own volition, one hand reached out and grabbed her upper arm, pulling her into the quiet corridor next to the stairs. For several tense moments he just stared at her, not even sure what to say. All Deeks knew was that he was furious with her; he didn't care to think about the why.

"Deeks, come on…" she started and tried to walk away, but again his arm reached out and stopped her.

"Don't."

Narrowing her eyes at him it felt to Deeks like she was reading his thoughts. "Don't…what?"

"You know what."

She crossed her arms. "No, please enlighten me." And that's when she knew she had pushed her partner too far, because true anger settled on his face before he spoke again in a frighteningly controlled tone.

"Don't go out with him."

"You aren't my father, Deeks, I can date who I want."

"I know…just, not this guy." His tone and stance softened some as he spoke.

Now she was curious. "Why?" she asked back with a similarly soft tone.

"He was a suspect, do you really need more reason?"

"He _was _a suspect, he was cleared and we found the actual bad guy, remember?"

"Oh, I remember. I also remember the creepy as hell looks he was giving you in interrogation."

"He wasn't…" she started but was cut off.

"He was."

She sighed. "Deeks, let it go."

"Please…" his tone was practically pleading and that gave her pause.

"Why? And because he was a suspect isn't the right answer."

Deeks swallowed nervously before meeting her eyes. "I got a bad vibe off him."

"Are _you_ serious?" she asked, clearly annoyed now.

Deeks did get a weird vibe off the guy, one he didn't like and yes, that was part of the reason he was trying to talk her out of it (well, that and he had been a suspect), but part of it was also the feelings he had for her that while he refused to acknowledge still tainted his thinking. The feelings that occasionally would rear their ugly head and force him to reveal a little too much. Like now.

"Dead serious."

There must have been something in his tone or expression that gave away more than he was intending, because suddenly she reached one hand out and gripped his forearm gently. "I'm a big girl, Deeks. I can take care of myself."

"I know…"

She squeezed slightly. "It's one date Deeks, I'm not marrying the guy."

He slumped slightly against the wall, clearly admitting defeat. "I know…"

"Ok, then." She gave him the barest hint of a smile. "But your opposition is noted."

He merely nodded and pushed off the wall, heading back to the bullpen to write up his report. And stew. Because that bad feeling just wouldn't go away.

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><p>Knocking on his door at midnight woke Deeks from sleep and he looked around disoriented a moment before realizing what the sound had been. No one knocked on his door this late and immediately his instincts were up and he grabbed his gun, even though his brain was telling him no one who would be at his apartment for no good would bother knocking first.<p>

Quietly he padded through the hallway and as he stepped into the small foyer area heard Kensi's voice calling his name rather tersely from the other side of the door.

"Kensi?" he said as he opened the door to reveal his partner standing there in a pair of dark wash jeans and glittering top, hair loose in large curls and makeup heavier than he was used to seeing. Clearly she had come from her date. _Oh, her date._

"You were right," she stated and stormed past him into his apartment, only slowing to drop her clutch purse on the entry table.

"I was right?" he asked, still pushing the pull of sleep from his mind.

"About Jackson."

Finally he comprehended what she was talking about and after closing the door (and setting his gun on the table by her purse), walked into the kitchen and pulled out two beers, handing an open one to his partner, who was clearly agitated.

"I'm sorry?" It was stated as a question, because while he probably was sorry for her that it went poorly he was secretly happy he had been right.

"I hate you, you know that? Actually, right now I hate all men. Useless pigs," she ranted and took a long drink from the beer.

"What did I do?" he asked and led her to the couch, where she sat with an unhappy sigh.

"You…you put it in my head that you had this "vibe" and I couldn't stop thinking about it…"

"Wait…didn't you just say he was a useless pig?"

"Fine, I hate you for seeing it when I didn't."

"I'm sorry, Kens." And he actually meant it, because despite the fact he _didn't_ like the guy, he still hated seeing his partner so miserable.

That's when he realized the room was almost completely dark and he could barely see her, so Deeks leaned over and turned on the lamp on the end table. The room bathed in light, he could see how pissed off she actually was…and that the upper part of her left arm had distinct finger-shaped bruises on it.

"Kensi, what the hell?" he practically shouted and gently turned her arm so he could see the bruises went clear around the skin.

She looked down at the bruises and sighed. "He got…handsy."

Despite the anger the sight of the bruises brought up in him, Deeks maintained control, he knew his partner. "I'm going to assume you took care of it."

"Let's just say he won't be using his hand for a while." Now she smirked and finished off the beer, laying her head on the back of the couch. "Really, why are guys such…assholes?"

"I wouldn't know, I'm not one."

She seemed to consider that a moment before nodding. "Yeah, you aren't."

"Thanks," he said sincerely. "Maybe you need to…change what you are looking for. It's not just about the pretty face, it's about…other stuff."

"Are you saying I date losers?"

"I'm just saying that whatever you are doing, it doesn't seem to be working."

"I know…I just…" She sat up and turned toward him. "What am I doing wrong? I can pick a suspect out of a crowd; I can tell when suspects and witnesses are lying to me. But dating? I don't…get vibes. I can't tell when a guy is a complete dick, until I go out on a date and then its…miserable."

Slowly he reached out and cupped her cheek, this thumb brushing the skin. "I wish I had an answer Kens, I really do."

She tilted her head into his hand and closed her eyes briefly, enjoying the warm feeling that spread through her body at his touch. She could read him, she knew he was a good guy, an honest guy (when he wasn't undercover) a guy she could see being with.

The realization of that stunned her enough that she opened her eyes and found her partner's blue eyes staring at her with concern. And her heart swelled just a little.

Reaching out, she set her hand on his bicep and squeezed gently.

Absently they moved closer to each other on the couch, not really realizing what they were doing until their knees touched. For a moment they stared at each other before simultaneously leaning in, their lips just barely touching.

Before the soft kiss turned into more she pulled away and looked at him a long moment. "I'm sorry."

He pushed some hair behind her ear. "Don't be…I'm not."

"I should go…" she started to get up but his hand grabbing her wrist stopped her.

"Don't…it's late. Stay the night, you can have the bed."

"I couldn't." At his expression she amended, "At least let me have the couch.

Quickly he stood and walked down the hall, returning with a blanket, pillow and an oversized t-shirt. "You ok?"

"I will be, yeah."

"Night Kensi." He leaned over and planted a kiss on her temple.

"Night Deeks. Thanks."

"Anytime…"

END


	6. Billet

I apologize for not updating this fic sooner, but five days after returning from the vacation with hubby and kids there was a death in the family and I had to scoot across the other side of the country for a funeral. And then my muse decided to take a vacation. But here we go and this chapter went in the complete opposite direction I anticipated but hey, who am I to argue.

So I figured while I sit here watching the Yankees/Detroit game (GO TIGERS), I could clean this up and post it.

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><p>Billet (noun): To provide lodging for; quarter.<p>

Marty Deeks tossed his bag down on the bed and let out a long sigh, in his nearly two years as the liaison for NCIS, he had been privy to all sorts of strange protocols and rules, but this one by far took the cake. Ridiculously expensive cake, but cake nonetheless.

Walking to the window, he threw open the heavy curtains and looked out to a view of downtown Los Angeles. They were on the fourteenth floor of the hotel, four rooms all tucked in the corner, away from most of the guests. Deeks supposed Hetty had something to do with that. And something to do with their arriving via the backdoor and ushered directly to the rooms.

Sighing again, he turned back to the space, his home for the next two days, give or take. Large king bed by the window, comfortable loveseat on the other side of the night table. A nice sized flat screen TV hung on the wall across from the couch, but could be angled toward the bed. Typical closet and rather large marble bathroom with a huge soaking tub.

Grinning at the door between the closet and the small dresser, Deeks made a quick decision and crossed the room, knocking in a particularly annoying manner on the door.

When there was no answer, he knocked again, this time only slightly less annoying.

Finally the door swung open to reveal his partner, in all her tight jeans and t-shirt glory. Hey, he was a man and it had certainly not escaped his notice that Kensi was off the charts hot.

"Yes, Deeks?"

"I'm bored."

"It's been an hour."

He shrugged. "I need to keep my mind sharp…"

Now she snorted and let out a rather unlady like laugh.

"So what do we do?" he asked.

"We enjoy the time off while we can, Deeks."

"Really? One missing laptop…"

One eyebrow slowly raised in his direction. "One missing laptop with all our personal information, including addresses and several aliases. If they can't find or disable it, it won't be a couple days at a nice hotel; everyone will have to move and deactivate perfectly good aliases, possibly flushing some ongoing investigations." Even Kensi could admit it was an annoying inconvenience, but it was also protocol, with their information compromised it was too dangerous to return home. So it was a couple days at a hotel under brand new aliases unless Eric could access the computer remotely and confirm the data hadn't been decrypted (even Hetty knew the possibility was remote, but the manager was never one to risk her agents lives), in that case their "vacation" would end earlier.

Deeks looked at her with those big blue eyes and she actually felt bad for the guy. She knew it was hard adjusting to constantly moving/working/planning to…sitting and waiting.

"Look, Callen usually loses himself in a couple books, so unless we ask him to join us, we won't hear from him. Sam will be in the gym most of the time if he's not watching the History Channel or annoying Callen about whatever he's reading."

"How often does this happen?" he asked and leaned against the door frame.

"This would be the third time since I've been an agent."

"Huh…" He seemed to consider that before looking at her. "So what do you do?"

She shrugged. "Read, workout, sun myself since this place has a rooftop pool, catch up on reality TV. Hetty can arrange to get more stuff from your place, but it's not preferred."

Deeks knew what that meant, Hetty would do it if he was desperate, but the liaison would owe her for a long time for it. "Nope, I'll…find something to do."

She sighed. "Look, gimme thirty and we can head to the pool, ok? But I'm not entertaining you the entire time, you're a big boy."

"Yes, I am." A slight lecherous grin accompanied his words and she rolled her eyes.

"Idiot," she mumbled and closed the door between them.

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><p>As they found two lounge chairs by the pool, Kensi took a moment to enjoy the view of LA; she loved it from this hotel. The entire city was laid before her, it was especially spectacular at night, and she would have to bring Deeks back up here once the sun went down.<p>

Smiling to herself, she set her towel down and peeled off her shorts and tank top, revealing a pink flowered bikini that left little to the imagination.

Deeks had been also staring at the view, but as he turned back, he caught his partner pulling her shirt over her head and stopped dead in his tracks. Because her bikini was rather small and her body looked fantastic in it. It was not the first time he had seen her in a bikini – far from it - but those times had been work related and he hadn't the opportunity to _really _appreciate her figure.

_Oh dear God, _he thought as his eyes lingered over smooth, tan skin, and suddenly he wondered if coming to the pool was a good idea. Looking around, he caught several men staring intently at Kensi. Deeks zeroed in on the closest one and gave him a look that said "back off"; the man gave him an appreciative look but turned away.

"Swim?" he asked as she settled into the chair, pulling her hair back in a ponytail.

"Nope, go ahead."

He nodded and disappeared into the deep end of the pool. Thankfully it was August in LA, the least touristy time of year and he didn't have to deal with many other people. What started as lazy laps across the full sized pool quickly turned into a full workout, with him pulling his body through the water with power and ease.

Kensi watched as her partner made quick work of the laps, racking them up at an impressive pace. Deeks was not a small man by any stretch, but he was all muscle born from a lifetime in the water and they were clearly on display as he moved through the pool as if he weighed nothing. The graceful and powerful movements of his muscles drew her in and it wasn't long before Kensi realized she was openly staring at her partner. Shaking her head she gave him one last look as he disappeared under the water to execute another turn before closing her eyes and enjoying the warmth of the sun on her skin.

Eventually the heat of the sun started to become oppressive and Kensi opened her eyes and eyed the pool, her partner had moved onto butterfly strokes and oh, dear God, the way his muscles moved and rippled sent a little jolt through her. A jolt that was not appropriate in relation to her partner, but one she didn't entirely dislike either. Taking a deep breath she got up and approached the pool, quickly slipping into the water in the shallow end, moving forward until the water came to her waist. When Deeks passed her and she was certain he had not seen her approach, until he suddenly disappeared and broke the surface directly behind her. Extremely close behind her. And this time a stronger jolt moved through her at his proximity, she could feel his breath on her shoulder and his constantly moving hands kept pushing the water around her waist.

"Race?" she asked without turning around and could practically feel the grin on his face.

"You bet. Two laps, winner buys a drink after dinner," he said and moved even closer, she could practically feel the water running down his chest. And even in the warm August sun in a heated pool, she shivered.

"What makes you think I'm having dinner with you?" she asked indignantly.

Instead of answering her he laughed and whispered. "Pick your stroke."

* * *

><p>"You cheated," she mumbled unhappily.<p>

Deeks just grinned at her and took a long drink of his free beer (on-tap Summer Shandy, the big glass). "How? How does one cheat at swimming? Just admit you lost."

She let out a noise of irritation and swirled her own glass of Leinenkugel. "Fine."

They were seated at the bar in a small pub attached to the hotel. An invitation to Sam and Callen to join them had been declined as expected. After their burgers had been eaten and the plates taken away to be replaced by the current (and second) round of beers, Deeks had slid his stool a touch closer to his partner. Close enough that when he turned slightly sideways their knees would bump.

There was something in the air between them tonight, something that was allowing them the freedom to act beyond the normal barriers they put up against each other. Maybe it was the circumstances they found themselves in, with two years of pent up sexual frustration between them, nothing but time to kill and close quarters.

So when his hand brushed the back of hers, she didn't snap as she might have and he didn't try and pretend it was an accident. Instead she leaned into him slightly while looking at their hands, which were still touching. The heat that came from that minor of touches was incredible and for a moment she wanted to pull away from the intensity. But she didn't, instead leaning into him slightly, her shoulder brushing his.

"Shots?" she asked but before he could answer had put her hand up and was motioning the bartender for two tequilas.

In no time they were licking their hands and shaking salt onto them.

Kensi held up her small shot glass first and looked at her partner with an expression he could only define as devious. "To partners…" she said and they clinked glasses before downing the liquid.

Again Kensi motioned for more tequila, but as the bartender walked away Deeks grabbed her forearm. "Don't you think we've had enough?"

He was far from drunk and wasn't concerned about waking up with a hangover as much as the potential for something to happen if too much alcohol was consumed. The fire between them was already burning at a frantic pace; he could only imagine what would happen when alcohol was added.

Casually her hand landed on his thigh, a little too high to be just friendly and heat flared through him at the touch. Then she leaned over and practically whispered, "Worried a girl can drink you under the table, Deeks?"

He raised one eyebrow in response to the challenge. "No chance, Blye. Besides, you are far from a girl."

Heat and desire raced through her dark eyes and in that moment Deeks knew he was done for; especially when the next words came out of her mouth.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she whispered and licked her lips before capturing her bottom one gently between her teeth, staring at him steadily.

He was saved from a response by the bartender returning with their second round.

Kensi wasn't sure why she was suddenly acting so forward with him; it wasn't the alcohol, she could handle her liquor. For a moment she wondered if maybe it was because she hadn't been laid in almost 6 months, but quickly she pushed that explanation out of her head, she'd had plenty of opportunity in that six months, but the men who offered were not the one she wanted.

The one she wanted was sitting impossibly close to her in a dark bar, doing tequila shots with her. And only putting up a cursory attempt at stopping her advances; which told her all she needed to know.

The heat of desire was rising quickly and Kensi didn't think she could stop it at this point, even if she wanted to. They had been on this path for a long time now and it seemed they were finally nearing the end.

As Deeks brought his salt covered hand up to his lips, Kensi stopped him, gripping his wrist gently, slowly pulling his hand toward her lips.

Then she licked the salt slowly off his skin, meeting his wide blue eyes as she did. The action sent that familiar warm feeling straight to his crotch and he shifted. Once all the salt was gone, she held out her own hand to him and he reached out, licking her skin equally slowly, enjoying the taste of her under the salt.

Keeping their eyes trained on each other, they downed the shots. It was possibly the most erotic thing a woman had ever done to him. And they were still clothed.

"Let's go," she whispered into his ear and he nodded forcefully, quickly writing his room number on the bill and something vaguely resembling his signature. Her hand still on his thigh and body pressed against his side made legibility hopeless.

Deeks would have happily traded in their 14th floor rooms for something a little closer during those painfully long moments in the lobby waiting for the elevator. And judging by the way Kensi kept fidgeting next to him, she agreed. By the time the doors dinged open, he was ready to forget propriety and just take her in the elevator.

Clearly she'd been having similar thoughts because the second the door to the empty elevator closed behind them, she moved to stand in front of him and placed a hot, wet kiss to his mouth.

That was all he needed, his hands started to roam over any part of her body he could reach, finally landing on her hips. As she pushed her tongue into his mouth, he tightened his grip on her and spun them around, pressing her into the corner.

Pulling away, he planted several kisses along her neck, and she moaned lowly in approval.

"Is this a good idea?" he asked even as he gently pinned her arms above her head with one hand. The other slipped under the material of her shirt and found the smooth, warm skin of her abdomen. The same skin he had been admiring at the pool.

"Probably not," she said breathily and titled her head back as his hand dipped briefly under the material of her jeans, skimming the skin right above her ass with his fingertips. "You, uh, want to stop?"

"Hell, no," he responded and moaned himself when she wriggled under him. "You realize there are camera's in this elevator, right?"

Looking at him, she smiled. "So let's give them a show."

"You are bad, Kensi Blye," he stated and started kissing down her throat, dipping his tongue into the hollow before moving across her collarbone.

As her fingers clumsily started unbuttoning his shirt the door dinged open and the pair pulled apart just long enough to step out into the hall and start walking toward their rooms.

His door was first and that's where they stopped, Deeks quickly opening the door with Kensi draped over his back, her hands wrapped around him, fingers pulling desperately at buttons on his shirt again. Every one of his nerve endings was on edge from her closeness.

Once they were safely inside and the door was closed, Deeks pressed her back against the door, hands sliding farther up under her shirt, his tongue dueling with hers between wet kisses. As his fingers made contact with the bottom of her bra, Deeks suddenly pulled away and looked at her.

She eyed him carefully. "You aren't going to change your mind now are you?"

"No…no. I just…" he blew out a breath and leaned over, kissing her more tenderly this time. "I don't want this to be a one-time thing."

She smirked. "We haven't had the one time yet, Deeks."

A serious expression crossed his face. "You know what I mean…"

"I do. And I don't either."

Now he smirked but didn't speak, instead covering her lips with his own, his hand continuing its path up as she pushed off the door and lead them backwards to the bed.

They only needed one room the next two days.

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><p>Good news though, I'm already halfway through another chapter for this one. Yay!<p> 


	7. Billow

AN: I have been lacking in saying thank you for the reviews so…thank you VERY much. I really like this chapter. It's one of my favorites by far.

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><p>Billow (adj): To rise or roll in or like a great wave; surge.<p>

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><p>"Hit me," she stated simply and watched as her partners blue eyes widened in shock.<p>

"What?" he practically screeched at her. "No, no way. Are you insane?"

Kensi lowered her voice and looked around the small hallway they were in. "It's my fault, Deeks. The op is going downhill quick, they're suspicious. No way a guy like John Monroe lets his woman talk to him like that and get away with it."

Deeks visibly flinched at his alias' name and the truth to her words. John Monroe was a first class asshole (probably worse than Max Gentry), and while his wife Natalia, aptly played by Kensi, was part of the smuggling operation, there was no way Monroe would tolerate the insolence Kensi had accidently displayed not five minutes earlier in their meet.

Never before had Deeks' alias and real personality clashed so fiercely. The character of John Monroe would have had no trouble smacking around his wife. But Marty Deeks had seen enough domestic violence in his young life that the idea of striking any woman, especially his partner, actually made his stomach roll.

"Still, no."

Anger crossed her face. "If we don't sell this cover right now at best we lose these guys and at worst we won't make it out of here alive. You know that."

"I can't…Sam and Callen should…"

"Sam and Callen are three blocks away and won't come in unless we tell them too. We cannot lose these guys now; we are so close." She fidgeted and looked around again, they were taking too long. Their extended absence would only serve to fuel the suspicions Kensi knew their targets had about the pair. And this was the only way she could think to keep the cover intact. She hated doing this to him; Kensi knew better than most how much Deeks abhorred violence against women (and children for that matter).

"We don't have time for this…" she muttered and leaned into him, placing her lips near his ear, her right hand twining with his left. "It's ok, Deeks. _You_ aren't hitting me; John Monroe is putting his wife back in line." She paused and squeezed his hand. "Use a closed fist, there needs to be a mark…you know you have to."

He knew. It was about getting out of this club alive to meet again in the next couple days with the big fish (the guys waiting for them in the back room were the middle men), so they could finally bring them down.

As she drew back from him, he took her by surprise (because he couldn't bear to do it when she was looking at him and waiting for it) and sent a right hook sailing into her jaw. Deeks checked his swing as best he could, but the sound and feel of his fist smashing into her face almost undid him. For a moment he thought it would actually vomit on the floor as she staggered back from him. It took every fiber in his being not to move toward her, apologize and pull her into his arms. Instead he stood with a stoic expression on his face as he knew Monroe would.

Pain shot through her entire head and as stars appeared at the edge of her vision she put out one hand to catch herself on the wall, the other immediately covering where he had hit her.

Backing away, Kensi told him with her eyes that it was all right, she was all right, even though she was incapable of hiding the agony. Because god damn, he could hit hard. And she knew he had checked the swing.

Wordlessly, she headed to the bathroom, leaving Deeks to explain her absence however he liked.

Entering the tiny room, she immediately went to the sink and looked into the dirty mirror. Already a bruise was forming at her jaw line and based on the pain she was in, it would continue up her cheek, possibly below her eye as well. Touching her bottom lip, she noted a split that had started slowly swelling and bleeding. Grabbing a couple paper towels, she dampened them and held them to the cut.

Sighing, Kensi tossed the paper towels and grabbed the edge of the sink, trying to center her thoughts. Knowing what she did about her partner, she knew he would feel guilty and blame himself even though it had been her careless comment that had gotten them into this mess. And she knew it was tearing him up inside that he had hurt her; for a moment she was worried that once she walked out of the bathroom and he saw the damage done, he would give something away that would end up getting them killed after all. But deep down she knew he was too good of an agent to slip up.

Then again, a minor slip up had caused all this.

After she felt an appropriate amount of time had passed, Kensi made a half-assed attempt at covering the bruise – it was futile – because it was something Natalia Monroe would do and opened the door, heading back to the meet.

Approaching the three men, she slid back to Deeks' side and murmured, "Sorry, baby."

Whatever he had said had clearly worked because they quickly got back to business and confirmed a meet with the big fish the next afternoon.

The drive back to the Wilshire and trip up to their suite was tense and Kensi noted that Deeks barely looked at her the entire time.

"Deeks…" she started as they entered the living room of the suite (the suite had been cleared once they arrived and Eric and Nell were constantly running scans to be sure they weren't being listened in on, if they were the techs would notify them.)

"Not now, Kens," he said and finally looked at her. And promptly paled. He had done that. He had caused the purple and blue to blossom on her face. He had split her fucking lip. He had caused her to bleed. When it was his job to protect her. It was his damn job to have her back, and instead he had hit her. And suddenly he didn't care if had been life or death at the time, because it wasn't anymore, they had escaped, but the god damn bruise was still there, mocking him and everything he had ever stood for. Deeks had always prided himself on not being like his father, on being everything his father wasn't. It was the one thing he feared more than anything, becoming him.

He hit his partner.

Again his stomach rolled.

Because for Deeks there was no grey area here; it was black and white, and he had stepped into the black.

"Deeks…" she said again, this time quieter and took a step toward him.

"I can't…" he muttered and looked at her again, he could see faint bruising under her eye now and he snapped a little inside. "I…need to leave."

Concern covered her face, and he backed away, she shouldn't be the concerned one. She was the one with the mark on her face.

Suddenly he turned away and headed toward the door. "I need some air. Back soon."

"Ok" was all he heard as he closed the door.

Kensi watched as her partner paled in front of her before turning and leaving the suite. There was nothing she could do for him now; he needed to work it out on his own. So she moved to the kitchen where she placed ice in a towel before moving to the bedroom they had been sharing for two days and stripped off her clothes, filling the soaking tub with hot water and bubbles before slipping in and closing her eyes, holding the ice to her face.

As the water was starting to cool she heard the suite door open slowly before being closed and locked.

"It's me," he called from the living room and she was relived to note he at least sounded sober. Kensi resisted the urge to tell him she knew who it was since the door had been opened with the key.

"In the bathroom," she responded through the half opened bath door and settled back in to enjoy another ten minutes or so before the water temperature would force her out.

The peace she was enjoying ended with a few tentative knocks on the door and she could hear her partner shuffling his feet on the carpet.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Can I come in? I mean…are you…"

Any other day she would have snapped at him to back off and accused him of trying to get a glimpse of her naked, but not today.

Looking down, Kensi confirmed that she was appropriately covered in a thick layer of bubbles before responding. If her partner wanted to talk now, they would talk now. She was afraid if she asked him to wait he would change his mind and clam up, which she knew was the wrong way to handle this. Kensi could sense the anxiety coming off her partner in waves; he was uncomfortable around her now which was a dangerous place for them to be in the middle of an op. This needed to be settled.

"Yeah, come in."

Carefully he entered and stopped when he realized she was still in the bathtub. For a moment he considered fleeing, but then her voice stopped him.

"You're fine, Deeks. I'm covered."

"I don't want to-"

"Get over here and sit down, would you?"

Silently he moved and sat on the edge of the tub deck facing her, his eyes sweeping over the bubbles quickly.

"You need any help there?" he asked with a slightly lecherous expression.

She smiled gently at his attempt at humor. "I think I got it, thanks though."

Finally he looked at her face and she watched the emotions race across his face. Anger, frustration, concern, guilt and more than a little hate for himself.

"Deeks…" she started but was promptly cut off.

"No…let me talk." She merely nodded and he looked down at his hands, shaggy hair covering half his face. "I'm sorry…and don't tell me I don't need to apologize, because I do. I _have_ to apologize."

"Ok," she responded and pulled one hand out of the tub to cover his fidgeting ones. "I accept the apology, Deeks. But it wasn't your fault, it was mine."

"_I'm sorry Gordon, it won't happen again. It was my fault…please don't, please…"_

It was his mother's voice, one heard in his head a million times before. Begging for relief from the beatings; trying to take the blame when it wasn't hers to take.

He snorted and looked up at her now, really looking at the damage done to her face. And again it was like a punch to the gut. "My mom said that a lot, you know. _It was my fault_. Usually trying to stop him. Never worked."

"You aren't him," she stated simply, quietly.

"Then why do I feel like him?" he asked and looked up at her, his blue eyes searching her face for an answer. Any answer.

"Because you are a good person, Marty Deeks."

He pulled back slightly in confusion. "What?"

Shifting slightly, she adjusted herself so her chest was pressed against the side of the tub and she was closer to him, but still covered. And now she wondered if maybe having this conversation in while in the tub maybe wasn't such a good idea, because the urge to pull her partner into a hug was overwhelming. The only thing stopping her was her current wet and naked state.

"You…are a good person. And what happened today, what you _had _to do goes against everything you believe in, everything you try to be. And that's why you feel so terrible about it."

Deeks was taken aback by how much she understood his reaction to the day's events.

"If Sam or Callen had to do that, they would have felt terrible…don't get me wrong. But they wouldn't be turning themselves inside out over it. And that's because their experiences have been vastly different than yours," she blew out a breath. "…I, I can't imagine living like that, Deeks, and I can only wonder how bad it was. But you know what, it made you who you are, and that's a good person, a partner I trust with my life. And someone who's moral compass is certainly pointed in the right direction, even though some days you have to pretend it's not."

Instead of speaking he reached out and gently cupped her bruised cheek, his thumb brushing the unmarred part of her face. They locked eyes and again Kensi wished she wasn't currently submerged in the cooling water. Then his thumb moved down to her lip and carefully moved over the cut and Deeks noted that the swelling had already gone down. As he pulled his hand away, Kensi immediately missed its warmth and was surprised when he suddenly leaned over and replaced his hand with his lips, kissing her cheek softly.

It startled her enough that she missed the subtle tilt of his head before he closed the small space between them again, this time his lips making careful contact with the edge of her mouth where the cut was. The kiss was so painfully tender that her eyes fluttered closed for a second and she drew in a sharp breath.

When he pulled away completely, Kensi noted that there were goose bumps on her arms and she honestly wasn't sure if it was from the kiss or the now-cold water.

"You're cold." He stated simply while looking at her arms that were crossed on the tub deck next to him.

"It's nothing, the water is cooling down."

He chuckled and turned, grabbing her towel off the counter and setting it down next to the tub.

"Thanks," she said and he stood, heading for the door, nodding silently as he closed it behind himself.

For a long moment she stared at the closed door before pulling the plug and getting out of the tub. As she quickly dried off, Kensi tried to make sense of what had just happened. The kiss had been intimate for sure, but far from sexual, which is what had her confused, because at that gentlest of touches she had felt the spark between them. The spark that they studiously ignored on an increasingly regular basis.

After pulling on the cotton pants and tank she had been wearing as pajamas, Kensi moved to the door and sighed before opening it and looking for signs of her partner. But the suite was silent and dark. Venturing into the bedroom, she saw him lying in the bed on his back, staring up at the ceiling, he was obviously awake.

Glancing at the clock she noted that it was already after 1 am so she moved over to her side of the bed and slid in-between the cool sheets, mimicking his position. For the past two days they had stayed on their own sides of the enormous king sized bed with no trouble. Now the space between them seemed…oppressive, almost uncomfortable. So she turned onto her side and slid across the bed until he was inches from her, he didn't move at her action.

Silently she reached out one hand and placed it on his t-shirt clad chest, he shifted and then his hand was on hers, squeezing gently.

Just as she was starting to drift off his voice brought her back. "Are we…" he paused and she felt him take in a deep breath. "Are we good?"

The hesitation in his voice almost broke her heart; in the heat of the moment she had completely underestimated his reaction and Kensi instantly felt terrible because it felt like she should have realized what it would do to him. They were partners and friends but still she only had the vaguest of ideas about how Deeks childhood had been, and clearly what she knew wasn't enough to anticipate this. He was destroyed by his actions, as necessary as they had been.

"Deeks…" she whispered and moved closer to him, touching her forehead to his temple and placing her lips near his ear. "We were never _not _good."

The grip on her hand tightened and his head nodded slowly, she could sense he was calming down and slid their joined hands until they were over his heart before continuing, "You are a good partner, Deeks, one of the best. It was John Monroe, not you, ok?"

Now he expelled a long breath and nodded again. "Ok."

"Good. It's been a long day; let's get some rest so we can get this over with tomorrow."

Again he nodded and shifted once again, turning on his side to face her, their hands separating as he moved. But then, in the near darkness, his hand came up and traced her jaw once more. But she didn't sense the anxiety that was there the last time he touched the bruise, this time there was anger. Directed solely at the men they were there chasing.

"Yeah, I'm done with this op." He agreed and his fingers dropped from her face. Kensi missed the sensation until the same hand landed loosely on her hip.

"Sleep," she whispered and moved even closer to him, almost curled into his chest.

"Goodnight, Kens," he returned in a whisper and kissed her forehead feeling lighter than he had since the incident in the hallway. And for not the first time Deeks marveled at how she did that, how she knew exactly what to say.

Never before had he been so thankful to have her as a partner.

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><p>Fin<p> 


	8. Berserk

Hello, readers. I apologize for the long absence but RL has been a nightmare and I've barely had time to write. As a warning, this fic is based on SPOILER ALERT: in next week's ep Deeks is fired and Kensi "gives him lip" in the (paraphrased) words of Mr. Brennan. Now, there are two ways to take that comment and since I'm not a show writer, but a fic one I choose to take it this way.

The updates to this bad boy might slow quite a bit since I've recently decided to start filling in the blanks on The Call, which includes a re-write of the initial fic, making some major edits to allow for a multi-chapter. Look for a new chapter of that one maybe before Christmas.

Again, thank you SO MUCH for the reviews; they really do make the effort worth it.

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><p>Berserk (adj): violently or destructively frenzied; wild; crazed; deranged<p>

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><p>Before he was even done spinning the lie (actually, Hetty had spun it for him, Deeks had just acted it out accordingly), Deeks wondered what kind of damage it would do. The Operations Manager had assured him that in the end his partner would understand, that she would not hold it against him. It seemed logical until said partner was standing in front of him shifting back and forth on her feet, obviously anxious and upset. Her arms were crossed tightly across her chest, lower lip pulled between her teeth as if she was trying to stop herself from saying something (or crying).<p>

And that's when the urge to tell the truth nearly overwhelmed him. But that part of him that had always been a good undercover shoved the urge aside as he packed up the few personal items he kept on his desk at NCIS. Hetty's instructions had been crystal clear; the team was NOT to know that his firing was all a ruse. There was not enough time to properly prepare them and any hint that his departure was not permanent could be deadly. For all of them.

So that's what helped convince him to lie to them…to lie to her. It was a precarious situation and Deeks would not have been able to live with himself if his actions caused her harm. All agents – or cops - felt a certain level of protectiveness toward their partner, it was perfectly normal. Though Deeks knew his feelings for her went far beyond normal professional concern, they were delving into dangerous territory. Actually, they were probably well into that territory.

As he shoved the last item into his duffle bag, Deeks looked up and shook Sam's hand. The former SEAL had given him a look that said all he needed to know; Deeks had the other man's respect.

Stepping around the desk he approached Callen and did the same, shaking his hand quickly. "Thanks, man."

Callen had nodded as he spoke, "You ever need anything, you call us, got it?"

Deeks held back the inappropriate joke that crossed his mind, instead responding with a sedated, "Will do."

Taking a deep breath, he turned and faced the last member of the team who was staring at him like her entire world had just fallen apart. And that's when the guilt hit, and not just a wave, a freaking tsunami of guilt at what he was doing to her. Now he worried that maybe she wouldn't forgive him, that this fucking case would do damage he couldn't repair. And he questioned Hetty's decision not to tell them, they were trained professionals, but Hetty's decisions, while often seemingly illogical at first usually had a very good reason behind them. That was if she bothered to tell you the reason. So if the Operations Manager didn't want the other team members to know what was going on, they wouldn't.

"Walk me out?" he asked her. He may have questioned the order, but he would never break it.

Her response was far more in control than she appeared, "Sure."

As they got to his Malibu, he tossed the duffle into the back seat and turned back toward her, unsure what to say. He just knew whatever it was was better off said away from the prying eyes of the bullpen.

"Kens…" he started but she just shook her head.

"Deeks, I think you should just go."

The words and abruptness of them stung but he understood, Kensi Blye was not one for prolonged emotional scenes. But they couldn't leave it like this. There was too much between them for him to just…get in the car and wave goodbye.

Slowly, giving her enough time to stop him, he raised one hand and gently cupped her cheek, staring into her mis-matched eyes as she subtly leaned into the touch. Now it was the urge to kiss her that was overwhelming, but again, he pushed that aside.

"Do you trust me?" he asked quietly and watched confusion cover her face.

"What?"

"Do you trust me? Really trust me?"

"Of course I do," she practically whispered.

He dropped his hand. "Remember that, ok?"

"Deeks, I don't understand."

"It's ok." Suddenly he leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Bye Kens."

He had to get out of there before too much was revealed, before the forlorn expression on her face overtook his duty and he spilled that it wasn't forever, that hopefully he would be back soon. So he turned quickly and got into the car, pulling out of the parking lot without even looking back.

The irritated knocking (only she could make knocking sound irritated) on his door came at nearly midnight. Not that he had been sleeping. No, his gut had been churning since saying goodbye to her that afternoon. Enough that the beer he had opened two hours ago was still half full on his coffee table.

Walking to the door he prayed with everything he had that it was someone (anyone) else on the other side.

Of course it wasn't.

Before he could even speak, his partner blurted out a frustrated and clearly angry, "She can't do this!"

The brunette then pushed by him, only coming to an abrupt stop in his living room, before continuing her rant in an almost frenzied manner. "She just…can't. It's not right, Deeks. It's not fair!"

Closing the door he muttered his first words, "And hello to you too, Kens."

Her face scrunched up and she eyed the beer on the table. "Are you drunk?"

Closing and locking the door he sighed and moved into the living room, casually picking up the bottle and taking it to the kitchen where he dumped the now-warm contents into the sink. "Not even close."

She followed and paused in the doorframe, looking at him with an expression he couldn't define. "You got fired today, Deeks! Fired! How can you be so calm?"

He stepped closer to her and smiled. "Technically I didn't get fired, they eliminated the liaison position, I still have a job with LAPD."

The way her eyes narrowed told him he was not helping his case any. "So it's fine with you that you don't work with me…us, anymore? Like the last two years never happened?"

Of course it wasn't fine (but it also wasn't true), but he couldn't show her that so instead he shrugged. "Not much I can do to change it, Kens."

She took a step toward him. "Talk to Hetty, Deeks. Maybe she'll just suspend you."

"Have you ever had any luck talking Hetty out of a decision?"

She blew out an annoyed breath. "No, but…"

"Then that's it."

Now fury covered her face and she took another step toward him, they were barely a foot apart now and Deeks was becoming a touch concerned about their physical proximity. Only bad things could happen if she moved any closer. Or maybe good things. _Depends on your point of view_, he mused.

"That's it? That's…it? You aren't even putting up a fight…" The anger was tinged with sadness at the last couple words. He had no response.

At his silence she shook her head and took several steps away, running her fingers through her loose hair; he was relieved and yet distraught at the loss of her closeness. For a while they just stared at each other, each unsure where to go from here.

Before he could even process what she was doing, Kensi closed the distance between them again, this time pressing her body against his, her lips crashing against his almost desperately, fingers digging into his biceps.

For just a moment he froze, unsure what to do, then her tongue was pressing against his lips and he obliged, opening his mouth to allow her access; he noted she tasted like chocolate and coffee. His hands snaked around her back as her fingers moved up and her short nails scraped the sensitive skin at the nape of his neck. And then he was as willing a participant as she was, and any thought that this was a bad idea flew out of his head as she pushed her body against his, practically slamming him into the wall behind them where she pinned him with her body as her lips and tongue continued to assault his mouth.

His head was practically spinning, and not from lack of air, but from the feel of her lips on his, tongue dueling with his, her body pressed flush against his in all the right places.

Of their own volition his hands moved south, coming to rest on her ass, squeezing gently. Deeks half expected her to pull away and end this but instead she let out a little moan of excitement and he pulled her closer if it was even possible.

Eventually she stopped with the assault on his mouth and moved her lips down the side of his neck, biting gently as she went while her warm hands slid up under his t-shirt, meeting skin of his abdomen.

Deeks closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensations racing through his body at her touch, they were intense to say the least and he didn't want her to stop. He _never _wanted her to stop it felt…incredible.

After she reached the collar of his shirt, Kensi let out an annoyed huff and tugged at the hem, eagerly pulling it over his head. As the material went sailing to the floor she looked at him, desire and need and want clear on her face. Silently she grabbed his hands and pulled him backward, moving slowly toward his bedroom.

And that's what snapped him out of his desire filled haze that had prevented him from stopping this.

"Kensi…" he started but she silenced him with another kiss, this one with less heat, but more…emotion.

"Deeks, shut up," she finally said and started leading him again.

For a brief moment he considered doing as she said and following her to his bedroom where they would sleep together and finally give into the tension that has plagued them since almost day one. But it would be a betrayal of trust beyond doubt, he would be taking advantage of the fact he knew his status while she did not. And this was trust that was built, sometimes painfully, over two years. Would one night be worth it?

The answer was easy. No.

Deeks drank in the Kensi in front of him, committing her to memory. And then he stopped walking.

She tilted her head with a questioning expression. "Deeks? You can't be saying no…" Suddenly her expression changed to confusion and disappointment, and maybe a little embarrassment. "Can you?"

Cupping her face with both hands he leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek, closing his eyes a moment to relish in the feel and scent of her skin before pulling back.

Staring intently into her eyes, he spoke quietly, "Please, trust me."

"O-ok."

And then he spoke the hardest words he'd ever had to. "Then you need to leave."

When she pulled away he conveyed all he could in his expression and she nodded slowly, walking to the couch and picking up her purse from where she had thrown it earlier.

Before stepping out of the now open door, she looked at him. "I hope one day you can explain this to me."

"Me too, Kens, you have no idea."

Without another word she left the apartment and Deeks standing there feeling better and yet worse at the same time. This fucking assignment was killing him and it had only started.

Three days later he strolled back into the Mission to a round of welcome backs from Callen, Sam, Nell and Eric, Kensi was suspiciously absent. Callen had tilted his head in the direction of the firing range and Deeks nodded his thanks.

After dropping his bag, he headed toward the range, unsure what her absence meant.

Watching her fire off the last couple rounds from the sig, he wondered if she realized he was there. Until she spoke after removing the ear protection, but without turning, "Is this going to be awkward?"

"Only if we make it that way."

She seemed to consider that and slowly turned toward him. "It's weird though."

That he could concede to. "Yeah, a little."

Finally she walked over to the table next to him and started putting everything away, clearly as a distraction. "Thanks," she said after stowing the targets.

"For what?" He really wasn't sure.

"Being a gentleman."

"I couldn't…not be. You know?" She did, he didn't have to explain further. But he did need to know that his little side mission hadn't caused damage. "Are we ok? You aren't mad are you?"

She shrugged. "No, it was a Hetty thing…that's all I need to know. We've all been on that end of a super-secret Hetty mission."

"Ok, good."

Kensi tilted her head at him. "You were worried?"

Deeks scrubbed his hands over his beard and tried to hold in a smile. "No…no, not at all…ok, maybe a little."

A light laugh escaped her and they walked out of the range and through the gym, Deeks casually slinging an arm around her shoulders and she sighed again "Can we just pretend I didn't make an ass of myself?"

"But it's such a nice ass…"

She shoved him away and threw her hands up. "Seriously, Deeks?"

He just gave her that stupid grin of his. "What?"

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

"Probably not."

There was a twinkle in her eye the second before her hand reached out and grabbed his ass…hard.

"Might as well enjoy it then," she grinned and walked away, an extra swing in her hips.

"I'm pretty sure that's harassment…I'm telling Hetty," he yelled after her.

All he got in response was a distant laugh.

END

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><p>Not sure the word fits 100%, but Im rolling with it...<p> 


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